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Text Box: But function is not the only attribute of the mitt.  The mitt is also a thing of beauty and loveliness.  Even sensual if you look at it the right way and have belted down enough BPRs on a hot afternoon.  Artists have long been fascinated by the allure of the mitt, and entire cathedrals have been devoted to it (somewhere, trust us). Text Box: As all APOKILIPTIKANS know, the path to true enlightenment and joyful doom is to follow the way of the mitt.  The world was once dark, a void with no form, no substance or purpose.  The people were sad and much like sloths. Then from a brilliant flash, came upon the world- the mitt.  The mitt brought joy, purpose and labor to the masses.  Sure they were still hungry, but now they could get that bread out of the oven, once they could scratch together enough shit to make any bread.  Anyway, it was the way of truth and salvation for all.  This is why, in memory of that fateful day, APOKILIPTIKANS wear the mitt. The mitt has many esthetic and utilitarian functions.  For example, when equipped with belt loops or shoulder strap, it makes a perfect pistol holster, water bottle caddy or feminine hygiene product dispenser.  It can be used to lift burning embers- engage in fisticuffs with enemies- is a useful make shift dust respirator, even sexy lingerie with the right straps.  Grenades never had a more cozy home, and as a portable beer cooler on the belt-- well, there's no end to it's usefulness.   Text Box: "THE WAY OF THE MITT"